40+ Single Men... Question For You

[dyelook]

8years and not even 1 session. . I truely salute you.. if you still love her then I think you should stay until marriage ( at least you can piak her once on the 1st honeymoon night ).. then maybe after your first piak she'll turn into a sex devil and let you piak her everynite..

ps: 8years liao mah.. still got another 2years only 10years.. if really cannot work out then only consider the single life loh..

[hella21]

The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.

You get what you give. When you give better, you get better.

If you put your relationship in a win/lose situation, it will be a lose/lose situation.

Forget whether you're right or wrong. The question is: Is what you're doing working or not working?

There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it's not working and be honest when it needs fixing.

Falling in love is not the same thing as being in love. Embrace the change and know that it takes work.

You don't fix things by fixing your partner.

Intimacy is so important because it is when we let someone else enter our private world.

You don't necessarily solve problems. You learn how to manage them.

Communicate. Make sure your sentences have verbs. Remember that only 7 percent of communication is verbal. Actions and non-verbal communication speak much louder.

You teach people how to treat you. You can renegotiate the rules.

[newbie14]

i will marry her if i am in your position

she is a good wife material

1 negative (no sex) but so many positives about her!

what if the next girl you find, gives you unlimited sex but get cash from you everytime, behave like ahlian, no dream to pursue, hoping to be taitai.

[lotsfits80]

Originally Posted by newbie14

i will marry her if i am in your position

she is a good wife material

1 negative (no sex) but so many positives about her!

what if the next girl you find, gives you unlimited sex but get cash from you everytime, behave like ahlian, no dream to pursue, hoping to be taitai.

Yes you are right. I will marry her.

[yaoyao1992]

Sex promotes intimacy, reassurance, the realisation that both parties are wanted and needed. Lack of sex in a relationship is a leading factor in break-ups. Once the sex goes, so many other problems follow. There is no doubt that a healthy sex life is one of the most important factors in a thriving and successful marriage.

[porscheclub]

TS, I suggest that you bail out.

I didn't read your full story but as far as my experience confirms, women give sex to have love & men give love to have sex.

When a woman loves you thoroughly, she'll do anything for you. Anything.

Now, I'm not just speaking of sex but when a couple comes together then procreation is a law of nature which means making love, having kids, building a family and growing old together. It encompasses a wholesome cycle lasting a lifetime of happiness, sadness, illness etc.

I don't want to curse you but have several personal friends who were longtime couples only to divorce within a shortspan after marriage. Somehow being in a relationship and marriage are two different situations because a marriage has a far deeper meaning especially when you have kids and the in-laws are involved. It's not just managing a woman but a family, finance, raising kids, relationships with immediate families plus others. Don't worry everyone will learn it along the way but you need an understanding spouse to pull this through.

Now, Sexual relationship is a natural balance for a happy couple & yours is strangely unnatural that's why you popped the question.

8 years & you guys never spoke of marriage/family planning?

Anyway, you're still a freaking virgin. Go lose it to someone meaningful or pay a professional $50 to pop you and excercise that poor little bro. Don't you know that our erection starts to tilt after 25yrs old?!

After a while, you'll realise that sex is like a sports which keeps us fit including ladies & scientists say it keeps us young too

Don't end up like a 40yr-old-virgin & that'll be a real tragedy.

By all means please communicate with her but I have a feeling you're hitting eggs on a stone.

[KaniNababe]

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

I'm thinking of being single again and become a player instead of committed, but I'm worried that I will get lonely when I grow old and cannot fuck anymore. How do you deal with this issue? Will it be lonely? Or the freedom is great?

I just read your story . I think what the two of you should do is to have a good talk, let her know your expectation and needs. If she is still not willing to give in then seriously she may not be in love with you. Like somebody had mentioned here, women give sex to feel love. Women need to understand the sexual need of the guys and should try to fulfil it. Sorry to say that but i just felt your gf is selfish for ignoring your needs and pride, though most of the bros here advised you to marry her.
On a side note...why are you two considering marriage since you are not planning for kids? Frankly i dont see a point...

[Wintermelontea]

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

We have been 8 years in a relationship and 4 years of it closely together. We will only be 20s once, 30s once... like Wayne Lai said "人生有多少个十年"?

After the years are gone, do you think I can say "hey, this is not working, let's turn back the clock to 10 years back and try another path"

Let's not kid ourselves to think that something that's broken can be fixed back to it's original intention; especially where matters of heart is concerned. The human mind/brain is complex.

When I broke up with my ex of more than 2 years, I too find it difficult to accept but life goes on. We clearly do not have what it takes to bring us forward longer. Thus, why keep on keeping on? It will only bring us sadness, misery and worse constant bickering. How many 10 years do we have to keep doing this? Not many.

It is the same for you. Since you understand "人生有多少个十年", I am sure you do understand you and her likewise wanted happiness. After all, we should be happy daily (on top of other things) so that we find meaning and fulfilment to our lives, yes?

Breakup after long period of time together is indeed considered "wasted" but unless both can be happy together, I find it meaningless to carry on what you and your partner has.

Winter.

[PeteTsang69]

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

Yes you are right. I will marry her.

don't do it

relationship is not is maths equation ...

why are you here in sex forum? its bcos u have high sex drive as claimed by you, and sex/physical is important ...

take it from a married bro, my sex drive is healthy ...married a low sex drive
didn't know what is good ...kids arrived, sex once only in 4 years at its worst ...out of respect i didn't force her ... but even doing, only one position, dont like kissing (too wet, too hard) don't like nipples sucked, forget oral, forget 69 ..,.

out of physical needs went to HC for release HJ ... for years

then meet a young gal, no not from hc, ...her sex drive healthy, not crazy high ...each session min 2hrs ...me can be hard easliy for 4+ hours ...outdoor sex etc spontaneous, cos like to hug ...

let me tell you the signs that make great bond...
i always hold hands, always hug, always kiss hello and goodbye ...didn't before this gal
and when we kiss ...can kiss long 10+ mins
and corny part is that each kiss feels so fresh ... even after 6years +

physical loving bond is purely magically ...until you experience it you don't know what your missing out on, just like me before ...

if want to maths ...do this

high sex drive + low sex drive = 2 unhappy people

[MrPleaser]

TS, have you talked about why she does not want sex?
Is it because of religious issues? Or is it something like wanting to have sex only after marriage?
Could it be that she has read that it will be painful and thus is fearful of sex? You need to talk to her about that.
Also, explain your high sex drive to her and see what is her reaction.

But really la, if you still virgin and keep on fantasize about sex, will definitely result in high sex drive.
What if u try liao and find out that your sex drive actually not that high? (maybe sex is not as shiok as you expected?)

Another point to take note if you are marrying your GF is that she is ALPHA.
Are you Alpha? Do you dislike always agreeing to her POV?

Marriage is a relationship where you need to give and take, and not just one person take all the shit.
If you keep on agreeing to her POV, she will not be happy when you disagree in the future.

I have seen a broken marriage partly due to the male being too compliant (keep on agree with wife because he know his wife will not back away from her POV)
This led to much unhappiness and ultimately, them being seperated.

To me, always sticking to your own POV and always not accepting others' POV is not a redeeming quality and I will not consider her for marriage.
But that's just me.

Most important thing is, do you think you can tahan years of always agreeing with your WIFE? (when your POV is not the same?)
My advice to you is not to marry her, unless you think you can spend the rest of your life agreeing to her POV even when it is ridiculous.

[Greenfrog]

Originally Posted by porscheclub

TS, I suggest that you bail out.

I didn't read your full story but as far as my experience confirms, women give sex to have love & men give love to have sex.

When a woman loves you thoroughly, she'll do anything for you. Anything.

Now, I'm not just speaking of sex but when a couple comes together then procreation is a law of nature which means making love, having kids, building a family and growing old together. It encompasses a wholesome cycle lasting a lifetime of happiness, sadness, illness etc.

I don't want to curse you but have several personal friends who were longtime couples only to divorce within a shortspan after marriage. Somehow being in a relationship and marriage are two different situations because a marriage has a far deeper meaning especially when you have kids and the in-laws are involved. It's not just managing a woman but a family, finance, raising kids, relationships with immediate families plus others. Don't worry everyone will learn it along the way but you need an understanding spouse to pull this through.

Now, Sexual relationship is a natural balance for a happy couple & yours is strangely unnatural that's why you popped the question.

8 years & you guys never spoke of marriage/family planning?

Anyway, you're still a freaking virgin. Go lose it to someone meaningful or pay a professional $50 to pop you and excercise that poor little bro. Don't you know that our erection starts to tilt after 25yrs old?!

After a while, you'll realise that sex is like a sports which keeps us fit including ladies & scientists say it keeps us young too

Don't end up like a 40yr-old-virgin & that'll be a real tragedy.

By all means please communicate with her but I have a feeling you're hitting eggs on a stone.

Well said bro, i always feel sex is an important factor in a marriage. A marriage with no sex is a marriage with no love

[TedBear]

Originally Posted by Flinger2

There is a difference between , " Fucking all the girls of the world" and getting married.

Fucking is all about lust...pleasure...new experiences... enjoyment.....

Getting married is about emotions, companionship , living together and experiencing life up and down as the life keep going without stopping, aging together etc....

When you get confused and think both they are one and the same , people often make disastrous decisions.

You got to ask yourself . What do you want and go for both or only the one you want.

Once you can differentiate them and have a clear mind, you can them make a good decision for different needs .

Yup.. Very true. You need to ask yourself deep inside your heart what you want in your life. Some bros have cheong enough and fuck enough and want to settle down and live together with the one he loved for the rest of his life. But some bros may still be experiencing the lust and fun being a player and never want to be tied down. So to each his own, there's really no correct answer to this one.

[unsung80]

4 words for you.

Look for a shrink.

[porscheclub]

Originally Posted by Greenfrog

Well said bro, i always feel sex is an important factor in a marriage. A marriage with no sex is a marriage with no love

Thanks bro & you're right.

A good wife understands that it's her duty to satisfy her husband's needs & vice versa. A relationship is about balance, we also need to fulfill our duty & responsibilities. Eg. My kids drive wife crazy so once in a while, I'll take over so that she can unwind with her friends for a night out & I'll insist that she dress sexily with the shortest skirt possible so she'll be the star and attract men. Women loves attention & we like the heat so it steams our relationship

Originally Posted by unsung80

4 words for you.

Look for a shrink.

Hahaha short & blunt but it's right

[Dumbell]

I feel love & sex is equally important. From what I read you obviously still love her. Just that she not interested in sex and cannot satisfy you. This part can like what bro said , go find those doc specialist in sex (dun know the actual name lol) they maybe can find out the reason why she behave like that and made her normal again.

If all this fail then you start consider single again. Is not that asking you to leave her becos cannot fuck her, just that marriage or relationship , no sex or no love cannot work de I feel.

My colleague wife also like that, my colleague 1 month also dun know got fuck her once Bo, also say tired after work, not interested..etc but after see doc now thing getting better.