another broken hearted guy..

b0r3d · #1 29-01-2014, 02:45 AM

Ok, here's another breakup story... sigh

After 3 years being single i thought i knew what i wanted and how to get it.

And so, abt 8 months ago, I went back to the dating game and started meeting with people. I met lots of friends, from online, my friends, social network, work, friendd friends, events, parties, dating companies... I mean, name it and i would have probably tried them back then.

After about 2 months of trying, I met the perfect girl, a thai chinese girl that works in retail ( no shes not an fl or anything along that line) She was introduced by an acquaintance.

She was the sweetest gal I have ever met, silly and vulnerable at times, a little girlish and always caring for me.

She never asked anything from me at first and after only about 1 month togeyher we decided to move in together and plan for marriage.

She knew that i am not rich and all I can give her was my heart. So I was very touched when she said she only wanted to be with me...

Part 1

b0r3d · #2 29-01-2014, 06:17 AM

The nightmare began after she moved in.

First it was our different schedule and working hours. We started having lesser timfor each other because she' working retail and me office hours. We are not young so we knew from the start this was one of our differences and had planned ahead on how we can make use of the little time we have for each other. Our normal routine towards the end of the day was mainly me picking her up from her workplace daily to fetch her home, have dinnner cum supper and go late night shopping or grocery shopping. During weekends, sometimes we managed to squeeze some drinking session with our other friends or catch midnight shows. It was simple way of life. Things we both enjoyed at first.

But as times moved on she started feeling very tied down and very pek chek seeing me everyday. She started throwing temper and at times said you dont have to pick me up everyday if you dont want to or sometimes she would just say she will be doing OT til late. Sometimes she would also say she will be out with her colleagues. For the record, I am fine with all these, but it just got worst to a point that we sometimes only get to see each other only 1-2 days a week for the very little 1-2 hours we had left for the day.

We also started fighting more and more because of her spending habits. Similar to some of the bros here, i have spent for her shopping for items like clothes, jewelleries, cosmetics and branded bags. At first it was only small things but somehow she wanted more and started asking for more luxurious items. I am not rich, but i was able to pay for her for all the things she wanted and at the beginning of these year ibeven bought her the proposal ring she wanted which cost me around 20k. This is excluding all the other items and the iphones and other smart tech gadgets she requested for. I think any guy even rich or poor will make noise when their spouse spends excessively and I admit that sometimes I did start our fights due to me telling her to be more thrifty as we still needed to spend for our wedding. I mean how else can a guy react when his spouse told him she wants a 500 buck hairdo a day right after asking for an iphone 5 without contract...

Part 2

b0r3d · #3 29-01-2014, 06:36 AM

The fights went on and our sex life was practically nil towards the end. It got worse to a point where she now said she wants out as I don't understand her at all and we are too different.

I started asking myself if there was also another third party involved and tried going to her workplace to see with my own eyes during those occassions where she told me she needs to OT. I did see her being close with other guys leaving her workplace on some occassions but they were always diferent men and up until now I still am not sure if they were just her friends or she was casually having flings with other guys.

Here's the best part.. she recently told me she's pregnant and she wants to keep the baby. She does not want me to have anything to do with the child legally but demands that I pay for all the medical expenses and her living expenses from now onwards.

With all the happenings and suspicions I am not sure if the child is even mine. I did promise her i will take care of her and even offered to take the baby from her if she finds another partner and chooses to donso if the baby is in the way.

I did try and tell her to get a paternal test and she was naturally very offended by that.

I am totally lost now...

I still love her, yet she does not want to be with me anymore.

I want her back still but she's pretty much made up her mind

I cant really talk to anyone in person about this. I am so embarassed and its all so painful to me.

Thanks for reading and apologies if it sounds lame to you as I dont really have a flair for writing

Tai_zi21 · #4 29-01-2014, 02:16 PM

My 0.05 cent point of view

First check tat if the baby is yours,u wouldn't wan to feed someone else baby for nothing do u?

Second Break up with her and dun waste any more time! Never expect ur partner to change for u....

Lastly u say u still love her? May i know based on wat?

Very old saying but i think it very true! why give up the whole forest for 1 tree?
Esp when the tree dun Appreciate you at all

Happy CNY

30bear · #5 29-01-2014, 03:41 PM

Hi bro,

Understand your predicament. but u have to remember that she dun love u anymore. On top of that is the child yours? Better do a DNA check first.

If she really love u, she will understand u and make sure she share the woes with you and not spend money like waterfall.

My advice, break up and stop all relationship with her. Basing on what she want i.e. dun want to have any legal with her child, suspect the child may not be yours. So do DNA check.

Do a clean break and have no more dealing with her...time will heal everything.

Wish u all the best.

demonhunter · #6 29-01-2014, 05:50 PM

Problem : just 1 month together and u rush into it ... This is the honeymoon period and everything will seem perfect .

Solution :Get rid of her .

b0r3d · #7 29-01-2014, 09:05 PM

Thanks all for the advice.

Slowly losing myself and have been having so many sleepless nights these few days...

Haizzzz

Intltuk · #8 30-01-2014, 01:18 AM

Base on ur story, Bro, looks like u've been KCed big time....hook, line and sinker. Dump her. Hard hearted as this seems, insist on the paternity test.....bec she may be using the baby to cont'd to `milk' u.

Anyway, wat is done is done, take it as a `big' lesson....move forward and clean up the mess.....don't let it haunt u for the rest of ur life.

`Shake me head'....one mth only and u think u know the girl inside out.....haizzzzz. So many bros rpt similiar situations here....and those who come after still never learn....brings to mind a saying....`A fool is born every minute'.

justl00king · #9 30-01-2014, 04:40 AM

Bro, try to have a good talk with her...see if can sort things out.

But if it's not working out, time to let it go and move on.

All the best to u.

chanster · #10 30-01-2014, 04:45 AM

Because she already achieve what she have , this is just common strategy from all of them .. Used to it , be it fl or non fl , I'm only glad I suffer this before young

Big Sexy · #11 30-01-2014, 07:20 AM

how ironic..

mate, she is much smarter than you think she is.
you got punked

Quote:

Originally Posted by b0r3d

She was the sweetest gal I have ever met, silly and vulnerable at times, a little girlish and always caring for me.

she recently told me she's pregnant and she wants to keep the baby. She does not want me to have anything to do with the child legally but demands that I pay for all the medical expenses and her living expenses from now onwards.

romidogdog · #12 31-01-2014, 09:03 PM

TS. Gave up on her, moreover she dont love you anymore. If somehow you manage to get her back to you, maybe her next target is ask you to buy a house in her hometown and it will never end there.worth it or not ? Pretty doesn't mean anything , just take it as a lesson learnt.

b0r3d · #13 31-01-2014, 09:54 PM

Truely appreciate yr honest comments guys.

This whole saga makes it even worse for me because of the baby...

I mean yes she has her bad habits of spending and all...

But what if she really innocent and the baby really is mine???

I will be so guilty for abandoning them

romidogdog · #14 31-01-2014, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b0r3d

Truely appreciate yr honest comments guys.

This whole saga makes it even worse for me because of the baby...

I mean yes she has her bad habits of spending and all...

But what if she really innocent and the baby really is mine???

I will be so guilty for abandoning them

BRO, as you aready said " what if " so is not confirmed the baby is yours rite? Imho go get a dna test as soon as possible.if she still refuse than it might not be yours. Lets say dna confirm is yours ... I might sound cruel to some bros here, go for abortion . If she insist of keeping the baby, of course you have to bear the responsibility by sending cash monthly . Lets say one day you're getting married , will you tell your future wife that you have a baby in Thailand? Every now n than she will request for more money for your baby.etc sick la school expenses n many more. Is going to trouble you for the rest of your life bro !! You have to be firm regarding the dna test.

sentsggirls · #15 01-02-2014, 01:44 AM

summarize for you

she is just looking for a sponsor , she might not have a baby, just bullshit story to make you more sad and pity her.

understand after 3 years single, finally met a girl that warm your heart and care for you even thou you just have your heart to give.

thou she not a FL or pros, but thai girls likes to use such trick on guys. i suspect she might have a husband back home in thailand ?

take care TS, is never to late to turn back.