Ah Beng's jokes to chill

[K9696]

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
> He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book &
> said,
> 'My Mobile No. Has changed.
> Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
>
> ====================================
> Ah Beng : I am so Proud, coz my son is in Medical
> College.
> Friend: Really, what is he studying.
> Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying
> him.
>
> ==========================================
> Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football
> every night.
> DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
> Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final
> game.
>
> ===========================================
> Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
> Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die
> will u remarry?
> Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
>
> =========================================
> Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
> Wife: How do you know??
> Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody
> said,
> Oh GOD! U have come again.

[Bangster]

haha that was a good laugh after a hearty nasi beryani lunch...

yum yum *burp!*

[topcook1]

Thats a good one...cheers

[Bigbluebird]

Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erasesthe board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so.
He replied that the weather forecastannounced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it wouldbe hot.

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening and not in the morning. Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

[Bigbluebird]

Ah beng was walking along his work area one day and saw his fren Ah mute.
Ah mute can't speak so he needs to use sign language to communicate.
Ah mute signal why Ah Beng isn't at work.

Ah beng than look around and gathered some leaves under the tree and stand on them.
He look at Ah Mute and pointed down at the leaves.
Ah Mute is now confused..

Later Ah Sian pass by and saw Ah Beng standing on the leaves.
Ah mute than signal Ah Sian on what is Ah Beng trying to say..

Ah sian than type down in his handphone and show it to Ah Mute.
"Aiyo so simple, Ah Beng Is On Leave!"

[Bigbluebird]

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed !

Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "

Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes " Yes "

Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Beng : "I'll buy it!"
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask.
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold".
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems.
He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me ?!"

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back!!!!"

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU " AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

Affter completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED"

PS. That's all I have for the moment, apologies for additional jokes but I think I posted appropriately in the right thread

[procodin1]

good one bro

[Bigbluebird]

Originally Posted by procodin1

good one bro

I'm glad you enjoyed it, I have read it many times and it always give me a good laugh back.

Brothers who enjoyed the jokes posted by TS and I, do us a favour by upping our points. I have a long way to go back to green from red

[K9696]

To all bros who like the jokes...thanks


Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items
> are missing,
> except the TV in my house.'
> Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
> Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
>
> =========================================
> Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying
> 'Parking Fine'
> He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for
> complement.'
>
> =============================================
> How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
> He is the one who erases the notes from the book
> when the teacher erases
> the board.

[kim-seng-heng]

Nice one. Camping for more.

[keano]

thanks dude..make my heart feel lighter!

[walle]

wanted to up u but dunno how..paiseh to u, Mr Ah Beng....

[jimbeam7575]

Keep it up with the jokes!!! Will camp here to get my daily laughs...

[K9696]

Good Morning to....all

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence
> into future tense
> Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
>
>
> ================================================== ==
> Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
> Servant: 'It's already raining.'
> Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
>
>
> ================================================== ===
> A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking
> in the Evening and not in the morning
>
> Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM
> not AM

[barilla]

Good jokes .