Heart breaking sunrise....

Toshiya · #1 11-07-2013, 03:21 PM

Just had a break up with my girl last night.

In fact, I kinda see it coming about a month ago. She felt she cannot commit now and she didn't want to hold on to me. Though it was a amicable breakup, we still love each other very much.

Went over to her place to have a talk with her and to tie up loose end as well. I did not beg or plead for her to come back to me because i chance upon a bro's thread here saying anyone has the freewill to choose who they want to be with and what they want to do with their life which I adhere to that. I love her and I chose to give her the freedom she wanted.

I hardly see her cry in our 2 years relationship but she burst into tears the moment she sees me. We had a chat at her house and I was hugging her while I pour out my feelings and thoughts while she was still crying. Had the last love making session with her last night. My virgin breakup sex and it was kinda ironic. I don't want to end the session, the connection we always had during the session but I know somehow this had to end, regardless how long I could hold on. Curdle on bed for awhile and I told her I will leave her alone for her to calm herself down. She burst into tears again...and i couldn't bear to leave as well, knowing well that I wouldn't know when I could see her again. That's when I really wish time would stopped for us. I decided to sleep over at her place for the night.

The night seems too brief and before i knew, it's sunrise. I knew i had to leave her very soon. Yes, like what you have seen in the movies... I hated the sunrise and I could only drag my time with her for another 15 mins or so before i had to leave for work. I hated that feeling. I've never hugged her so tight before, told her how much I'm gonna miss her and cried so hard. I made her promise me to text me when she miss me because i know her ego might get the better of her and forbid herself to text me. I kissed her forehead, wipe her tears and bid goodbye....

TheSeeker · #2 11-07-2013, 04:48 PM

Hi TS Bro,

I know I should not draw relevance from your break up with my own experiences. And no, this is not a comparison by any standards.

Bro, I hope you are coping along well and could draw strength knowing that someone else had been through something similar.

10 years later, I am doing ok. Please do have faith in time, it must feel terrible right now but slowly that pain would be replaced with a void. And you'll be ok again..

Take care bro!

sammyboyfor · #3 11-07-2013, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toshiya

Just had a break up with my girl last night.

There are plenty of replacements available so don't worry about it.

TaTTooBaBy · #4 12-07-2013, 12:26 AM

Sorry I just dun understand ... y break when both still have feelings for each other ? Wat sort of commitment when just a normal rs ?

aakumu · #5 12-07-2013, 08:45 AM

Hi boss,
There are plenty of replacements available so don't worry about it.
But the problem is, wherether can find the same quality or better replacements?

My humble two cents.

Schnitzer328i · #6 12-07-2013, 11:41 AM

Bro..time will heal everything. Had a similar experience 4 years back..and i would be lying if i say i have gotten over it completely. Yes..replacements are there and would fit in but it will never be the same.Could understand what you are going thru...

Cherish all the beautiful memories you had together as nothing in life remains except memories. Treasure it and it will always bring a smile and warm feeling in you even after years has passed. When you are at the sunset of your life...you will understand that you've had your fair share of beautiful memories as well at one point of life.

Toshiya · #7 13-07-2013, 12:38 AM

An devastating update...

I finally get to know the real reason behind all the change of attitude, all the guilt she was feeling, the lack of commitment at her end. Suddenly, everything starts to fit in.

Following the morning where I had to leave for work and leaves her. I was still feeling rather depressed but not to the state of losing my mind. I hang out with my friend that night watching "Pee Mak". It was a romance meet horror meet comedy flick. Nothing to shout about but the romance scene did got into me. It was really nothing but probably the state of mind I am where the scene plays out that got into me.

Feeling rather distressed, I felt the urge to text her. Follow my heart and drop her a text, "know this is not gonna make you feel any better but i didn't wanna have any regret in life. I set you free because I love you but I was afraid to lose you, afraid you have gave up on us."

I fell asleep soon after the text but she did replied she missed me. I was awake by her at 3am knocking at my window. I got up and saw her teary face. Hug her, and tuck her to bed. I just had too many questions on the break up. I decide I check out her phone with her friends to see what she was really feeling. I somehow felt our love is not dead and there's more than meet the eye. True enough, I scrolled through the text and found she was having an affair behind me with another guy. And they got intimate. My heart sank. I was trying to get hold of myself. I tried to make out where went wrong. Not a bit of anger but every bit of disappointment and heartbreak. I never see us ending it like this. And this is when everything start to make sense to me. The withdrawal towards me, the cold attitude within a month. I couldn't figure out if her love, her misses for me is out of empathy or out of the love we share for the past 2 years.

I almost fell into the illusion and indulge in that moment with her but my logical mind tells me this bubble would bust in a matter of time. I finally slap myself to reality and confess to her that I learnt about her infidelity. She was taken aback and couldn't face me. She was guilty. She want to get out of my sight and be alone. She just didn't have the courage to face me. And I knew I had to leave her alone for now....

Toshiya · #8 13-07-2013, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSeeker

Hi TS Bro,

I know I should not draw relevance from your break up with my own experiences. And no, this is not a comparison by any standards.

Bro, I hope you are coping along well and could draw strength knowing that someone else had been through something similar.

10 years later, I am doing ok. Please do have faith in time, it must feel terrible right now but slowly that pain would be replaced with a void. And you'll be ok again..

Take care bro!

I'm sure everyone go through heartbreaking moments similar in one way or another. After learning the truth, I'm still at a crossroad although deep down, I knew this would almost spell the end of us and that I should move on. Need some time to get it sorted out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schnitzer328i

Bro..time will heal everything. Had a similar experience 4 years back..and i would be lying if i say i have gotten over it completely. Yes..replacements are there and would fit in but it will never be the same.Could understand what you are going thru...

Cherish all the beautiful memories you had together as nothing in life remains except memories. Treasure it and it will always bring a smile and warm feeling in you even after years has passed. When you are at the sunset of your life...you will understand that you've had your fair share of beautiful memories as well at one point of life.

Bro, it had come to a stage now with the hard truth slapped right in my face. Guess time is the essence... and time will heal all wounds.

Quote:

Originally Posted by winner38

Bro,

I have lost my one true love in the year 2001, and one part of me has died inside.

Prior to the above relationship has ended, I have had many girls, and even other man's wife (sorry to say..) in my younger days. I'm in my forties now.

I met this woman and from a casual fling which began in a disco/club, it blossomed into something serious. After 2 years into the relationship and countless wonderful, wonderful sex (which in my humble opinion, a great relationship has to be both mental and physically compatible), she decided to leave me for her colleague. I was heart-broken of course, and the rest, like they said - its water under the bridge.

I moved on, and got married 5 years ago. But in some nights, I still dream of her - on a beach sunbathing, or laughing with me, or doing some cooking for me, or sometimes she was crying.. I always woke up with a jolt, and wonders if she is happy now? Is the man she is with now treating her alright?

Like I said earlier, 11 or 12 years is quite a long time, and that certain part of me has died inside me. And which, I believe, may never be revive again.

Moral of the story (only if you care to read so far) - try not to lose the love you have, for it may never come back again.

Bro, I had my fair share of heartbreaks and honestly I was rather skeptical to plunge into a r/s since this started off pretty much as a fling. Like you, things got serious and we took it to a level higher. Yes, I get it when you said a great relationship has to be both mental and physically compatible. That is exactly what I'm feeling when I was with her. Now that the truth had surfaced, things will never be the same again no matter how hard I tried.

woohooo · #9 13-07-2013, 01:47 AM

If you have decided to break up... go for a totally clean break, cold turkey.

Don't do the ... let's be good friends thing. It won't help either one of you. It would instead, prolong the pain. You will have up days & your down days. Some days you will feel like you are stronger, but only to fall the next day & crying.

That is ok, it is part of the healing process. So, don't blame yourself & don't be too hard on yourself. Just be aware, that it is part of the healing process.

One day, you will realize... that you are OK

risingup · #10 13-07-2013, 09:21 AM

Move on the to the next better player

Dumbfolded · #11 13-07-2013, 11:22 AM

HI TS bro

i understand what r u going thru cos its what excactly im feeling for the past few months. i know its devastated to know the cold hard truth. my ex also did the same to me in fact much more worst. when i found out the truth its was abit hard to swallow but i swallow it. in fact she wanted to break up i just agree to it even i love her very much and hope im not her spare tyre whom she can come back looking for me i just let it go without confronting her. but she push her luck too far despite giving her chances to come clean she still pester me and tell me lies after lies. till i have no choice but to expose everything n fact i know.

I have since doing my very best to move on there r times i could get very angry but on your case im just glad u didnt have a bit of anger and yes there are disappointment ,heart break n feeling lost. Reality bites after confessing to your gf on what u know its really the end. if u still harbour hopes to be with her its really up to you and you have to sort out alot of things cos mending a relationship after a infidelity its not easy. as you have say you need to sort it out but all means go sort it out. i wish you all the best and hope u can live life happy with or without her in the near future.

Take care bro!

skarlett · #12 13-07-2013, 12:46 PM

TS, such is life. Everyone has their fair share of heartbreaks.. we just have to grow out of it. Snap out of it completely if you have decided that she is nt the one anymore. Cut contact altogether. Otherwise you will be hanging by a thread suffering. Tk care.

Schnitzer328i · #13 13-07-2013, 02:45 PM

Bro, it had come to a stage now with the hard truth slapped right in my face. Guess time is the essence... and time will heal all wounds.

Bro..it's exactly what happened to me. I was a fool in love refusing to believe that i was being two-timed by this creature called woman. when i finally came to my senses..i've lost practically everything except my sanity. i still think of her..dream of her..even now wishing i can go back in time to change everything but when i come to think how she was spreading herself to another dickhead on my birthday..the pain of of being made a fool lessens the pain of the break-up. I am glad you're getting on and wish you all the best in the future. Having gone thru this pain..i wouldn't want any of our bros here to face similar situation. The pain can't be described by words...cherish what we have..while we have..but never let love cloud our ability of making the right call.