Poor sex life in a Relationship

[ephemeron]

Dear Bros,

I will like to seek some advices from the experienced here.

Currently I am in my late 20s and I have a stable girlfriend whom I wish to settle down with. I work in FMCG industry and my gf is a Teacher in a local JC. I knew this girl during my school days and we became an item somewhere after graduation from uni. (that shows how long I have knew her )

In the initial months of our relationship, we used to have sex like no tomorrow, 3/4 shots, 3-4 times a week.
Giving me good BBBJ and even beg me to CIM ...
I love every bits of her, satisfying my biological needs, supporting my emotional needs.

However things started to turn around as our relationship approach the one year mark of our relationship.
Every time she will push me away whenever I initiated for sex (Physically). She will simply tell me that she have no urge at all or give 1001 excuses. Our frequency of sex decline from 3-4 times/week to maybe ONCE or twice a month. (No wonder SGP birth rate so low )
Even when at times she gave in, she do not make effort to turn me on. She will just lie down and ask me to self service or I DIY.
The feeling is just like.. having sex, not making love with your love one.

I try to approach her on this issue, and she told me that she does not want to make herself obligated to sex and she simply have have no urge of doing it at all.

I thought to myself ..

1) If we are married next time and this problem persist, will it led to another bigger issue involving marriage?

2) All mens biological needs has to be satisfied somewhere. The urge surged till the extend of having the thought of visiting FL. Is this consider an act of cheating to my girl ? I have not been visiting one ever since we are an item, because I do not wish to cheat on her. With this circumstances I am facing, am I right or wrong stand to visit FL ?


Brothers, I need some valuable inputs.

Thank you

[Adrian&shir]

I hope is really tat she dun ve the urge n not something else. I ve such exp before n turn out she fall for another guy n eventually broke up with me. All the best

[korte]

Perhaps everytime eat the same dish will also get sian. Why not have a good talk with her about why hse is rejecting your sexual advances ?

[JIU XING]

Originally Posted by ephemeron;4297929

1) If we are married next time and this problem persist, will it led to another bigger issue involving marriage?

2) The urge surged till the extend of having the thought of visiting FL. Is this consider an act of cheating to my girl ? With this circumstances I am facing, am I right or wrong stand to visit FL ?
Thank you

my opinion for ur 1st question.. u still wan to marry her meh if sex is not satisfying and u know tat?? opinion for ur 2nd question..if she is seeing another guy now just like wat u r thinking(to visit fls) would u think tat she is cheating on u leh bro?? would u think tat she is rite

[Authenticity]

Thats a warning light and i'm glad you stopped to think about it. Let us assume you've fulfilled her needs as a woman and you've by far led your life like a man.

If we take a look at women for a moment, we've all heard stories of a woman running off to another man or even know someone like that. That's because the woman is unsatisfied.

If you don't fulfill them they will look for it elsewhere, even if it means "cheating". And if the two of you do get married, and this seemingly sexless relationship continues, i have strong confidence that in the end it won't work. There will be countless dramas. You, unsatisfied as a man. Her, feeling obligated.

I mean, sure, at the start you may go along with it, but as the years go by, and your unsatisfaction starts piling up, who's to say you won't seek it elsewhere? And the thing is, you're not "wrong" even if you do, you were basically unsatisfied as a man. Now for the truth, only the two of you know what's happening and what's wrong.

You know the answers, we all do, we just have to sit somewhere quiet, remove all distractions, by yourself and look inside...and feel. When the answer comes it will be liberating.

There is only one answer and you have it, no one else does. But whether you're ready to look inside and find out is another matter. It may seem to hurt at first, because by looking inside you are being aware, and ego and awareness cannot co-exist. The ego hurts, its not you. After that it's all out in the open.

I'm sure you can handle this, you're a man. A seemingly good one at that.

I wish you well.

[absidien]

I have had such experiences before. What i can advise u is that have an open conversation with her. Ask her about her lack of interest towards sex and the reason why. If she comes forth and tells u that she has lost her feelings towards u then i suggest u move on and find someone better. Eventually if u get married with her lots of other problems will arise and its better to settle the problem openly and discuss everything on ur mind.

[NikonCamera]

Bro,
Dun look at the surface of the problem. Keep an eye on other activites of hers. Did she change routine, the way she speak to you compare to others, etc, what happen around the one year mark, etc. Maybe sex too routine?
Talk to her about it first too. There sure is an reason to it.

[BonkingAgain]

Heard this problem elsewhere too

Maybe this can help you arouse your girl a little? Worked for my girl with moderate effects, i likey

[happy2nite]

BRO.... i think got something to do with her job. teachers now damn stress one leh. serious.
try asking her if her job is too stressful to take...

[Pink_Flyod]

the flame had died or she is seeing someone else... time to move on.

[SureScore]

For peace of mind, just get someone to follow her for one to two weeks. You should have some answers after that.

Later, just have a frankly discussion and sure both of you will resolve whatever is bothering her.

[ephemeron]

Dear Bros,


I will have rule out any possibility of third party.
We stayed together and we are almost inseparable all the time.
Her routine is pretty reciprocal. Home -> Work -> Home, she rarely go out with her own friends as well.
I understand that she have her set of stress, I have tried the soft approach to her but she denied its about her work.
Perhaps its simply low-sex drive due to hormone change ? Any possibility ?

As for the question quoted by Bro Jiu Xing,
Its not about how she can give a great BBBJ or Sex before you determine she is the right girl for you. Although sex do play a part in a R/S, I believe there are other components which we will have to factor in before we conclude that she is the right one.


Thank you

[Johnston]

Originally Posted by ephemeron

Dear Bros,

However things started to turn around as our relationship approach the one year mark of our relationship.
Every time she will push me away whenever I initiated for sex (Physically). She will simply tell me that she have no urge at all or give 1001 excuses. Our frequency of sex decline from 3-4 times/week to maybe ONCE or twice a month. (No wonder SGP birth rate so low )

I try to approach her on this issue, and she told me that she does not want to make herself obligated to sex and she simply have have no urge of doing it at all.

Brothers, I need some valuable inputs.

Thank you

Please to answer some question to provide more info
1) are u engaged? have meet parents all that?
2) did u in the past have very long sex sessions which include all type of toys and other games?
3)other than sex, do you both still maintain some physical intimacy, like hug hug , kiss goodnight, cuddle in bed like that.

and Birth Rate is pegged to Protection Rate not number of time one has sex with a lady

whats FMCG anyhow?

Stay safe.

[aLeGrIa]

Firstly, I am sorry to hear of your situation.

Secondly, I strongly do not encourage you to marry on moral or obligatory grounds.

Thirdly, sex is a major factor in a marriage... if no sex, no more enjoyment already.

There are many reasons why a gal losses her sex drive, but by the sound of it, both of you were humping like bunnies... this type of drive won't go away. Thus brings me to 1 last assumption... that is she likes someone from work or is already hanging out with someone from work and getting some there.

Its all speculative... I can only wish you good luck.

[titan]

Originally Posted by Johnston

Please to answer some question to provide more info
1) are u engaged? have meet parents all that?
2) did u in the past have very long sex sessions which include all type of toys and other games?
3)other than sex, do you both still maintain some physical intimacy, like hug hug , kiss goodnight, cuddle in bed like that.

and Birth Rate is pegged to Protection Rate not number of time one has sex with a lady

whats FMCG anyhow?

Stay safe.

FMCG = Fast Moving Consumer Goods