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-   -   sudden lost.... need advice,. (https://samleong.life/showthread.php?t=257093)

candypuss 21-10-2011 02:04 PM

sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Bros/sisters

First of all, I m married with a kid going in Pri one in three months' time.

Husband affair exposed two months ago n i am still distressed. Hubby did not walk out on me although he did not show any remorses. Quarrelled over the gal many times but it did not stop the on going affair. reason is revenge.

What shall i do now plus feelings for him is flying out of the window at a fast pace n last couple weeks ago, feelings had stopped already but he still carried on as if nothing is wrong plus he n i still on talking terms , more like normal frenz instead of man/wife.

sammyboyfor 21-10-2011 03:31 PM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss (Post 6480315)
What shall i do now plus feelings for him is flying out of the window at a fast pace n last couple weeks ago, feelings had stopped already but he still carried on as if nothing is wrong plus he n i still on talking terms , more like normal frenz instead of man/wife.

There's nothing unique about your situation. Millions of relationships around the world end up in a similar state on a regular basis.

You have two choices :

1) End the marriage and move on.

2) Carry on for the sake of the kids and have your own little flings on the side.

At the end of the day, life's choices are very simple. It's indecision that complicates matters.

alan0338 21-10-2011 03:49 PM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
u should disable the pm function since many buaya are beoing u liao :p

candypuss 21-10-2011 04:36 PM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by alan0338 (Post 6480760)
u should disable the pm function since many buaya are beoing u liao :p


no worries, no PM coming in yet

goodpartner 21-10-2011 05:16 PM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss (Post 6480315)
reason is revenge.

What do you mean by this phrase?

Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss (Post 6480315)
What shall i do now...

Since you guys are still on talking terms, quickly set up some sex... I mean sessions for marriage counselling where both will attend one after another, and then possibly together. That's your BEST move now.

Tell him, for the sake of the kid, to do this together. His reaction from agreeint to go, or not, will already tell you something.

Big Sexy 21-10-2011 05:29 PM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
what did u do??? you betrayed his trust??

Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss (Post 6480315)
reason is revenge.


joscklee 21-10-2011 11:54 PM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss (Post 6480315)
Bros/sisters

First of all, I m married with a kid going in Pri one in three months' time.

Husband affair exposed two months ago n i am still distressed. Hubby did not walk out on me although he did not show any remorses. Quarrelled over the gal many times but it did not stop the on going affair. reason is revenge.

What shall i do now plus feelings for him is flying out of the window at a fast pace n last couple weeks ago, feelings had stopped already but he still carried on as if nothing is wrong plus he n i still on talking terms , more like normal frenz instead of man/wife.

How long u did not f**k or get f**k by husband? Ask if any bro interested but can u upload ur face first?

sgjoey 22-10-2011 02:27 AM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss (Post 6480315)
Bros/sisters

First of all, I m married with a kid going in Pri one in three months' time.

Husband affair exposed two months ago n i am still distressed. Hubby did not walk out on me although he did not show any remorses. Quarrelled over the gal many times but it did not stop the on going affair. reason is revenge.

What shall i do now plus feelings for him is flying out of the window at a fast pace n last couple weeks ago, feelings had stopped already but he still carried on as if nothing is wrong plus he n i still on talking terms , more like normal frenz instead of man/wife.

You wronged him in some way? Did you sleep with someone else?

Perhaps a change in perspective would help. Both of you should just come to terms with the fact that humans are non-monogamous. So a marriage can still remain intact though both of you have other sex partners. But both of you need to come to an understanding about such an arrangement.

Support for such a stance is from the latest research from books such as Sex At Dawn by C Ryan and C Jetha. The book is available at the National Library. You could also take a look at this site.

Seems to be counter-intuitive, but may be worth a try. After all, what more have you got to lose?

RealEstateGuy 22-10-2011 04:02 AM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss (Post 6480315)
Bros/sisters

First of all, I m married with a kid going in Pri one in three months' time.

Husband affair exposed two months ago n i am still distressed. Hubby did not walk out on me although he did not show any remorses. Quarrelled over the gal many times but it did not stop the on going affair. reason is revenge.

What shall i do now plus feelings for him is flying out of the window at a fast pace n last couple weeks ago, feelings had stopped already but he still carried on as if nothing is wrong plus he n i still on talking terms , more like normal frenz instead of man/wife.

So sistah, sounds like he is having revenge sex with a woman because you did the unthinkable first?

LehmanBrothers 22-10-2011 04:48 AM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy (Post 6482897)
revenge sex with a woman

Looks like it unless i am wrong :confused:

uboat2000 22-10-2011 09:16 AM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
i feel eveyrone should try safe the marriage. ask for her from help groups. dont give up with out a fight, get all family members to help out. at the end of the day if u win u will get a stronger ties.

sammyboyfor 22-10-2011 10:16 AM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by uboat2000 (Post 6483293)
i feel eveyrone should try safe the marriage.

That's a really old fashioned attitude. It's no longer appropriate in this day and age.

sgjoey 22-10-2011 11:09 AM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor (Post 6483480)
That's a really old fashioned attitude. It's no longer appropriate in this day and age.

Boss, I am very surprised. Do you only specialise in distinguishing between "advise" and "advice"? What about "save" and "safe"?

LauYewTee 22-10-2011 12:03 PM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
What do you mean by talking terms?
eg, Hi - Bye? or how was your day?

You mention revenge, could you elaborate..?

In any case, I dont think you came here to get advice but to let it out yea?

Just my 2 cents worth. :)

flcult 22-10-2011 01:52 PM

Re: sudden lost.... need advice,.
 
For the sake of yr kid, dun get a divorce. If u can, talk to yr hubby in a calm n collected manner. Call me a dinosaur but you n yr hubby owe it to yr kid to have a family in his growing years. At least tahan until he's older n can understand matters.


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