So sad la..
 

Jus wanna vent out wat's in my mind!! Married young wif 2kids.. Mid 20s.. Staying home to take care of kids.. Love my family alot but lately, HB has not been passionate in bed with mi.... We still do often but the passion is nt like years ago.. Feeling so sad...
I am not ugly mah..When guys look at me, he still feel jealous.. He is making me so confuse.. Am I not attractive to him anymore?? I'm not the kind of mom who looks like aunties.. I put in effort to look good, to make him proud when his friends see us.. He enjoys it but when comes to bed.. It's jus not like before... I can't tell him these and I don't know how to.... Feeling so sad....

Pls do not pm mi.. I jus wanna let it out my chest but jus can't find a suitable forum... Thanks for "listening" to my nonsense.. :(

Re: So sad la..
 

not much you've vented there
but maybe you could try to be more adventurous in bed?
take the first step instead of him initiating?
try "naughty" lingerie or sleep wear to make it more fun?
get some "toys" for him to play for your pleasure?

just trying to be helpful :)
:cool:

Re: So sad la..
 

Well, Ladies being ladies. Have you tried to put yourself into his shoes?

I suppose he is the sole breadwinner am I right? Did you put in effort to ask him how is his work going? Probably he is having stress at work. Not to mention, Inflation and retrenchment is still on-going in Singapore as far as I'm concerned.

Communication between married couples are VERY VERY IMPORTANT. Often, lack of communication always lead to a marriage falling apart.

Take sometime to talk to him and find out more about his job. Is he facing any stress. Give him care and concern. Start of with a massage then without me teaching, you should know what to do next.

Hope the above can help you!

Re: So sad la..
 

Girl, could it be that he is sick of the same style and routine? I am speaking from experience cos I don't really enjoy doing it with my wife becos of the same reason

Re: So sad la..
 

We r doing fine financially... Managable.. Everything is fine..jus that I feel the lack of passion in bed.. I tried everything! I wore sexily, initiate, bj for him.. Etc.. He loves it but as I said, we still do.. Jus that it's not as passionate as before.. When we used to try out everything and enjoys every bit of sex..
Really wonder why some guys in here can be so on about sex?? Or is because it's not with the wife.. But with other gals, thats why the excitement??
Or is it because he has another one outside?? That's why he got bored or me??

Re: So sad la..
 

Tokyoman... We do communicate leh.. As I said, all is fine except that part.. I just don't know how to tell him.. What if he gets the wrong idea about me criticizing him in bed?? Which I'm not?? Last time we used to love doing at every corner of the house but now, he's not keen.. Sian..

Re: So sad la..
 

A lot of factors come into play when guys have sex. Maybe stress at work as suggested, maybe due to a lack of fitness (does he exercise?), maybe after 2 kids, your vagina isn't as tight. How does your love-making sequence go? Is it always you blow him in bed, missionary, doggie, missionary etc? Can you change the sequence and location from time to time? How about sex toys or sex boardgames? Dressing up doesn't really improve your sex life. What looks good outside may not feel good inside.

I think I can understand why he isn't so interested in sex. Sole-bread winner, come home tired and still got to play with 2 kids, listening to a housewife repeatedly nag the same old stories (kids lar, in-laws lar). When the kids are finally asleep, got to service the wife in bed. Not easy to feed 3 mouths financially too. Maybe he doesn't wish to touch you as he doesn't wish to feed another baby. You should consider working. Firstly, you relieve him of his financial worries. 2ndly, you become a more interesting person when you have a social life and there's something different in your life everyday that you can share with him.

Re: So sad la..
 

xgenre.. i never nag at him.. and I'm busy with the kids.. don't have the time to nag at him lor.. I'm the one taking care of the kids when they are back.. He is usually glued to the tv..
and we are afraid of having 3 babies too.. so we are careful.. I think you guys missed out something in my post leh.. we still do often.. just that we are not like before..

I wanted to go work but he is the one discouraging me to work.. He wants me to take care of the family needs and kids... and I am very disappointed.. no life.. everyday is kids.. and though my younger boy will be going to childcare soon, he still want me to stay at home.. reason being, the kids will fall sick often.. so better for me to stay home, take care.. cook for the family etc... I don't want to be aunty leh.. damn sian

Re: So sad la..
 

saberman.. if thats so, any solution for you and your wife?

xgenre.. i wan to change location.. i will "date" him beforehand.. wear spags with half of my boobs dropping out, tried leading him to the kitchen.. living room.. he is like.. entertain me only lor.. he will still "stand" for me la.. just that.. you know? not the wah.. enjoy.. have fun.. fuck till we drop kind of sex anymore..

maybe like saberman bro said.. he's getting sian of me already..

What should I do!!! why there's no gals in here? no one with the same problem as me?? hw envy!

Re: So sad la..
 

sex is a reflection of our relationship...man can take sex and love and split it, woman cant. so u find him not hving sex with u and u thought he dont love u...but from what u say...he still. At least u bother to make up and he like it...that tell..

so as for sex....ya...some bro say it right...its like eating hokkien mee for too long...need to take a break...so u would b worry if he eat other food right..

well, if his remembrance of u is all the good stuff, then quite difficult la...but if u keep this inside u and start to react to the smallest thing he do..so all tat he can remember of u is all the latest obvious bad experience....then he may.

so dont react to him...and dont think he got problem. continue to be sexy...and most of the time..,.we man are high in the morning, so dont ask man to do at night la....very difficult u noe.

Re: So sad la..
 

wolfman bro.. morning how to?! he wakes up earlier than me and left work liao lor! Very difficult to catch him..

why guys will sian huh? whereas we girls will still be so interested in the hb.. seriously, I always find my man sexy.. he used to tease me that he has a horny wife at home.. lol.. but no la.. I am only towards him. I just want him to enjoy sex like we used to.. when we can be so adventurous.. I know we have 2 kids now.. but I seriously don't want the kids to hinder our sexlife.. I love sex.. with him only!! (PLEASE da ge(s).. pls stop PM-ing me.. thanks!!) I will get disappointed when I am always or usually the one who have to tempt him for it.. seduce him for it.. why huh?!!? I will also get sian of it lor.. but I am trying not to..

Re: So sad la..
 

Re: So sad la..
 

I want him to clap his hand lor.. im bz clapping already...)

Re: So sad la..
 

sister sometimes it take two hand to clap so why not talk to your hubby what u feel over the relationship instead keep inside your heart.u are still young tat is still a long way to go if u dont trash thing fast small problem will become big problem.wish u and family happy and has the best sex lives in future cheers

Re: So sad la..
 

i used to have a gf, everytime we do it i will tell myself i am damn lucky cos she is very pretty and the sex is REALLY good. But of cos you eat abalone everyday also will be a bit sian right?

Then she turned very emo, will say things like "You are doing it with me cos you no choice" or "How come we are not doing it as often or as many times a session" and things like that. It's a huge turn off la... Not all men's brains are in their dicks. Work stress, family stress etc affects our desire for sex also. So pls don't say that to your husband.

And pls get work or get a social life as some of the bros mentioned. :) Sex is not always about how you look, size of boobs or how tight it is.

Re: So sad la..
 

Hmmm...yah lor....aiyoh!...hmmm...ok lah....hmmm *nod head*...orhhh...like tat ah...haiz...ok ok don't sad liao lah, it's like tat one lah :p

Re: So sad la..
 

[COLOR="Red"[/COLOR]
lol.. thanks har!!

Re: So sad la..
 

go for a 2nd honeymoon

Re: So sad la..
 

it like that one lah..... when a husband or bf saw someone looking at his wife/girlfriend he will feel jealous due to his childish or scared someone will take YOU away from him..... try to make him understand that everything is FINE..... have him personally talk with heart to heart to make sure he fully understand what both of you want!


it common to see couple having this problem.... try to find solutions to solve rather than either one of you SAD and keep QUIET...... :)


cheers girl.... you can do it~

Re: So sad la..
 

There has never been an age that did not applaud the past and lament the present.

Re: So sad la..
 

Sister, what you need to do is spike up your sex life with your hubby. Have you tried improving the overall love making experience? Vacations together while your family takes care of the kids? How about direct improvment in bed? Have you tried Kama Sutra? One thing that I really enjoy is when a women is able to use her vagina to milk my dick to orgasm. Have you looked into that and learned it? Try it on your husband and post back with results sister.

Re: So sad la..
 

gotcraft30... if realli sian liao..that means watever i do, it will still be the same rite..

i wan to work..but he doesn't allow mi.. prefer mi to stay home..

Re: So sad la..
 

What u said is so true...

Re: So sad la..
 

meet your girlfriend's and go out with them SHOP SHOP if you can't work! :)

Re: So sad la..
 

big9n, gonna do so when my young kid starts going to childcare..

Re: So sad la..
 

dear manny,

can you show us the picture of yourself so that we can understand your situation better?

Re: So sad la..
 

silverblue.. i tink u must be thinking im a stupid woman comng here issit? post my picture? u must be drunk rite?

Re: So sad la..
 

More than meets the eye?

Likely work stress.

1- Wants to provide and not let family worry.

2- fact he doesnt want family to worry adds to his stress, he could have difficulty maintaining current financial status.

3- this desire to provide and also to burden all issues to himself, adds to the stress which will result in resentment.

4- Stress leads to low sex drive, which is proven.

Some thoughts.

Re: So sad la..
 

TS,

When I'm reading your post, I'm thinking if you were my friend, as she had the same problem with you.

They still make love 2-3 times per week, but the passion was not there anymore. More to like for the sake of doing or what we call SEX, instead of making love, where feeling and passion are in...

Unfortunately, it takes really long time and patience for it the be back to normal. And sometimes it may not work too. What you both need is RELAXATION... I guesses he's too stress in work or life, that makes him lost passion in it. Again, men are weird creature. If you get him another woman, he will fuck like no tomorrow. But when with you, maybe 1 times or so will sian already.

My advise is... Give yourself more relaxation over it. Make more friends, and go out more often. Not asking you to find a FB though... But perhaps more friends to talk to, and just relax yourself... =)

Hope it works for you...

Re: So sad la..
 

THAT GREAT..... you also have to understand your husband situation.... he may think you will be STRESS during work while need to take care children when come back home.... he thought you can't made it this so he may as well ask you stay at home shake leg!!! you have to think positive!!! :)


i also understand everyday stay at home shake leg also FUCKING SIANZ..... i don't think your husband will be mind when you go out with your girlfriends as i can sense he trust your girlfriend rather than your guy (friends)!!!!


to avoid all this happen again try to talk to him SERIOUSLY and privately.... make sure both of you understand this!!!


anyway GIRL love to SHOP SHOP so you get what i meant now~ :)